100th Episode Extravaganza
Fan Fiction - Episode 100 - 100th Episode Extravaganza "Is This A Real Show?" “Is this a real show?” I asked the podcast hosts on the other end of the phone. I wanted to talk about my book and they kept making absurd statements about conspiracy theories. “Monsanto is handing out guns for people to commit suicide” … ”Mark David Chapman worked for the father of the man who shot Regan”. It was all insane. I am a serious investigative journalist and they were making a big joke out of me. “You know what, I am going to have to go. Thank you,” I said sarcastically as I hung up the phone. “That was rough, I need a drink,” I muttered to myself. Fortunately, there was a bar right across the street from my office in downtown Los Angeles. I hurried across the street and into the bar, it was filled with people as they ate their lunch. As I sat down at the only empty seat, the bartender looked up at me “What are you having?” “No preference, something in a bottle.” He slid a bottle of beer across the bar and I nursed it for a while as I stared at the television. Some 24-hour news channel was on. “BREAKING NEWS” flashed across the screen, the bartender noticed the warning and turned the volume up on the television. “We have breaking news for you, it has been confirmed Mark David Chapman worked for the father of the man who shot Regan,” the reporter said in a serious tone. That nutjob from the podcast was right about that, what else was he right about? I looked down at my bottle and read the label “Golden Rice Brew by Monsanto”. This turned my world upside down, the room started spinning. The bottle of beer fell out of my hand and crashed to the floor. I stumbled out of the bar, the first thing that caught my eye was a giant Monsanto billboard. A bus passed by with a big Monsanto advertisement on the side. Was this here all along? People on the street were wearing Monsanto hats and t-shirts. How could I have been so blind? Those guys on the podcast were right. I dropped to my knees and started sobbing, pedestrians kept walking as if I didn’t exist. I looked up and noticed a storefront with a sign which read “Monsanto: Grand Opening” on the awning. I stumbled inside, it was packed with people. “What do you sell here?” I asked the person behind the counter. “Oh, we don’t sell anything. You have two choices, you can eat our food for 20 years and die…Or, we’ll give you a gun so you can blow out your brains today.” I turned around to see a lot of the patrons leaving with a gun in their hands. The worker reached her hand towards me, in it was a black pistol. I took it from her, then stumbled out of the store and into an abandoned alleyway. I could no longer stand anymore and collapsed to the ground. I looked towards the sky and yelled, “They were right, those crazy sons of bitches from the podcast were right all along. It was a real show after all. How could I have been so blind?" … Epilogue Several blocks away, Brian Frange sat alone in his Toyota Prius parked in a grocery store parking lot. In his hands rested a big, warm cookie. He took one great big sniff, “You thought I did a good job on the interview today didn’t you Mr. Cookie?” He whispered to the cookie and then took another huge sniff. He pulled out a piece of turkey from his pocket and began to nibble on it. Off in the distance, a faint gunshot rang out.